For Her, I Can Be Beautiful

I have a gorgeous baby girl. Well, not so much a baby anymore, as she lets me know at every available opportunity. She’s a “big girl.” She can do everything “all my by herself.”

But she’s amazing. Cute, of course, but also beautiful. Stunning. Gorgeous. Blue eyes that are not just a beautiful color, but also amazing for the thought behind them. Blond hair, turning darker, with the perfect bouncy waves. Perfect hands that already love coloring, petting animals, and climbing.

And in the last couple months especially, people keep saying she looks just like me.

I’ve never been one to set a huge store on physical appearance. I don’t say that to try to make myself sound superior; it’s just never been that important to me. I say that to emphasize that my appearance has never been a giant part of my self-identity. I consider myself not hideous, and that’s always been plenty for me.

But my angel is gorgeous. And if she looks like me… then I’m beautiful too.

And that comes to me, not as an ego boost (or not only that), but also as a responsibility. Because there’s a good chance that if she looks so much like me now, that she’ll keep looking just like me. And she’ll keep hearing about it. So if I have any insecurities about my physical appearance, well, I need to get over myself. For her. Because she’s beautiful, and she looks like me. So it’s time for me to know I’m beautiful too.

For her, I can be beautiful.

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3 thoughts on “For Her, I Can Be Beautiful

  1. I have realized more and more since I’ve had Ava how very much a parents’ attitude, behavior, and beliefs effect their children. I’m still in recovery in many ways from my childhood, although I know I’ve come a long way. I was terrified of practically everything. I don’t want Ava to live in fear. I want her to be brave, kind, considerate, and confident. I remember saying to myself when I was pregnant, “I don’t want my daughter to have the same insecurities that I have. I don’t want her to feel this way. I have to feel better for her sake. If I don’t want my child to feel all this negativity, then God must not want me to feel it. I think I can stop punishing myself now.”
    I remember drawing your portrait. I can close my eyes and see it in front of me. I can feel the way the pastels felt going across the paper and the way I figured out which colors to use. When you draw someone, it seems you know them more than you did before. I think it’s because you try to capture the essence of that person. To do that, you have to think about them. What is their personality, how does it make you feel to be around them, what do they like? I remember everyone said the girl I was drawing was beautiful, and I said, “Yes she is.”

  2. Pingback: Self-Image, and the Purpose of Pictures | Free Is a Lark

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