The Difference Between Me and Them

The other day, Steve was reading an article that had some Christmas Twitter posts by MMA (mixed martial arts) fighters. They included one by one of the ring girls.

(For those of you who don’t know, MMA fights are fought in 3 rounds, or 5 rounds for championships. In between rounds, they have completely unnecessary scantily clad women, called ring girls, walk by holding a card with the round number. They are pretty much always healthy, fit women rather than the sickly anorexic skinny type.)

Her tweet was something along the lines of “Merry Christmas, everyone! I’m off to start my morning workout–cellulite doesn’t have holidays.”

Which is why I will never be that skinny and fit, because my mantra is more along the lines of, “Merry Christmas, everyone! Calories don’t count on holidays! Donuts for breakfast? Yes please!”

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Boots the Monkey

Kara loves watching Dora the Explorer, only she doesn’t really care about Dora. She wants to watch Boots. She loves that monkey. So I decided to try and make one. No pattern, just taking off with a crochet hook and yarn. My experiment was quite successful, if I do say so myself:

Here’s the pattern, for future reference for me or if someone else wants to try. I’m doing this from memory, so there may be some mistakes, and it will also probably be confusing, and I don’t really remember exact stitch counts on most rows, but here it goes.

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Wool Dryer Balls

For some time now, I have been frustrated with my dryer. I bought my washer and dryer used, so they’re not exactly a matching set. My washer says it’s an extra capacity, but apparently the dryer is not. If I try to dry anything over a “medium” load, it takes about a gazillion years for it to actually get dry. So I’ve been washing medium loads, which seems like a waste.

Enter my latest creation:

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These are wool dryer balls. Not much to look at, I know, but they make my life better. What are they, you ask? Good question. I’d never heard of them until my last Fiber Fun meeting. (FYI, Fiber Fun = people knitting, crocheting, etc… doing crafts with fiber… not sitting around eating bran muffins.) One of the girls was making some as a present for her sister-in-law. What was their purpose? Apparently, they make things dry faster and they make clothes static-free and soft. Basically, they’re dryer sheets. With no chemicals. And reusable for, pretty much, ever.

It sounded like some kind of trick, but I had lots of wool yarn that I wasn’t doing anything else with, so I made them. And then I did an extra load of laundry so I could play with them and try them out. Yes, I understand fully how sad that is on every level. But the result is that I can now dry the biggest load I can wash in one try. Merry Christmas to me!

A Sympathetic Villain

The other day, I was watching The Aristocats with Kara. It’s about a rich woman with a cat and three kittens, and a butler. The butler overhears the woman making out her will, in which she left everything to the cats, and when the cats died, the butler would get all the money. So Edgar the butler doses the cats with sleeping pills and drives them far out into the countryside to remove that link from the will.

I’m sure when I watched that as a child, Edgar the butler seemed especially villainous, but you know what? He’s pretty sympathetic. Here’s this middle-aged man taking care of an eccentric woman who treats her cats like royalty. He puts up with the kittens climbing on his head while he drives the carriage. He cooks for the cats. He puts up with this woman’s equally eccentric visitors. And then he learns that he’s not going to get anything from his mistress’s will until the cats die? A pampered housecat can live over 20 years. And his solution wasn’t even to kill the cats, but to ship them somewhere far away. Sure, he was greedy, but he just wanted to take the extra money from a pampered cat family. Don’t get me wrong, I love animals, but I think Edgar the butler has been viewed too harshly.

Life With a Toddler

Kara is learning more and more words. Some of them she’s still in the process of learning and we only know it’s a “word” because she consistently says it every time she sees the same thing. For example, “star” is “dos.” I think there’s an actual reason, something about when there’s two consonants together, kids stress the second one and move the first consonant after the vowel.

She’s also recently learned the concept of “trash,” which she calls “dash.” She likes picking up little scraps of paper and saying “dash, dash” while carrying it to the trash can, which we have up on a step stool so she can’t actually reach inside the trash can. So I lift her up, and she drops her trash in the trash can, and she’s so proud of herself for helping Mommy throw away the trash.

These two seemingly disparate facts came together yesterday after we got home from the zoo. Steve was sitting at the computer, so I took the SD card out of the camera and set it on the desk so he could look at the pictures when he got a chance. I went to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee and I see Kara racing toward me with the SD card in her hand, yelling “DAS, DAS!” I was very confused. “That’s not a star, Kara,” and realized a fraction of a second too late that she was saying “dash,” not “dos,” just as her little fingers slipped over the top of the trash can and dropped the SD card.

After emptying all of the trash into grocery bags, we finally found it on top of some coffee grounds in the bottom of the bin.

She has certainly taught me to pay very close attention to what she’s saying!