I am, obviously, taking a risk in posting my thoughts on the subject of gay marriage. And I’m saying right now that these are my thoughts on gay marriage, not on homosexuality. And by “marriage,” I mean “the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc.” <dictionary.com>, focusing on the aspect of legal commitments. Regardless of how I feel on the morality of homosexuality, the issue is whether the government should mandate said morality. I think it should not.
Steve and I are married. Aside from the religious aspects of that union, we get benefits like filing taxes together. Being arbiters of each others’ estates should something happen to one of us. It means if I get in a car accident and end up in the hospital, Steve gets to see me, know my medical information and status, etc. It means if he leaves me, I get to legally dispute things like his responsibility to finish out our lease. I believe that any two adults who want to enter into such a legal arrangement should have that right.
And in the interest of equal rights, any pastor should retain the right to refuse to preside over such a union, because the government also cannot mandate that religious institutions should find such a union morally acceptable.
I know people always say, “It’s the little things that matter.” And others huff and puff and think those of us who say that are just blowing smoke and hiding our disappointment that we don’t get many of the “big” things. So to you doubters, let me just describe a few of the things that have happened in the past few days that just fill my heart full to bursting.
1. My little baby girl was playing on the floor in her room while I was getting some stuff done around the house. For about 5 minutes, I could hear her shaking her rattle like her life depended on it, but when I finished my chores and walked into her room, she immediately dropped the rattle she was having so much fun with to smile so big and hold her arms out to me. Let me tell you, I lived on that emotional high for the rest of the day. Maybe the week.
2. I laid Kara down in her crib for nap #1 of the day and sat at the computer for my few minutes of personal time. When I turned the monitor on, a simple surprise message from Steve greeted me. I don’t have words to describe how much more that means to me than a card and chocolate on Valentine’s Day.
3. I heard Kara babbling in her room, greeting the new day in her usual cheerful manner. When I walked in, she was pushing up on her hands as far as she could go. When I leaned my head over to where she could see me, she smiled and stretched out to me as far as she could. Yet another high. I’m pretty sure I could feel my heart expanding.
So tell me, what “little things” have made a huge difference in your life—or at least your attitude?
I’ll post about Valentine’s Day. My favorite Valentine’s Day memory.
For most of my life, I’ve been single on Valentine’s Day, so it was always Single Awareness Day. I was happy being single most of the time, but man, what a way to rub it in your face for weeks leading up to the happy couple’s day. No one would bring me chocolate or roses or buy me a silly little card. I was 16 and home alone and going to work at my totally un-glamorous fast food job later and nobody cared and I was wallowing in misery and burning a “Pity Party Mix” CD when I got up from the computer to stretch my legs.
There on a TV tray in a neglected corner of the living room was… I don’t remember everything, but I definitely remember the little jewelery box, and I’m sure there was chocolate. My dad had left it where he knew I would find it before I went to work. Just that simple reminder that I did have a man in my life who loved me turned my entire day around. (I’m sure the chocolate helped too.) I’ve since lost the ring, of course, but I’ll always have that memory.
And I also remember that Dad didn’t do anything for Mom that Valentine’s Day, not even buy her a carnation that they were selling at work. She was angry and I felt bad for her, but it also made me feel even more special that he thought of me.
So here we are, me and my first Valentine:
For a couple months after I got married, I was a housewife and absolutely loved it. Then for a little while, I was a barely employed mostly housewife, and I loved that too. I never had to ask myself what I would do when I had some free time. I did what needed doing around the house, and then I did whatever I wanted: read, crochet, work out… whatever.
That is definitely no longer the case.
Now, the concept of free time is an almost mythical idea. When I have two days in a row where Kara actually naps in her crib, I’m almost at a loss. I do whatever chore is most urgent as soon as she goes to sleep, and then I have to choose my activities that fit into several restrictions. It should be mostly quiet (no laundry) and something I can drop as soon as she wakes up (no dishes, food prep, bathroom cleaning). So here I am blogging during an unprecedented nap that has lasted, thus far, an hour and a half, and I feel like I’m wasting something infinitely precious.
What do you do with your free time?