If One More Person…

… tells me to just relax and enjoy this last bit of pregnancy, there will be dire consequences for that unfortunate soul.

Technically, I still have 18 days until my due date. However, I’m already full term. And my doctor is expecting Baby to be born any day now. When I share this wonderful news, often I get words of caution that doctors can’t know for sure and the admonition to enjoy the last of the pregnancy.

Let me explain something. I’ve had a pretty easy pregnancy. I very much enjoyed the first 36 weeks of said pregnancy. Sure, there were some discomforts, but the joys outweighed them. These last few days/weeks, however, are what makes labor worth it if you can only get your body back.

If you’d like, you can try to enjoy strapping a 20-lb bowling ball to your stomach and then rigging it so that it jumps and bounces—generally either directly on your bladder and/or the nerve that runs down your right leg and causes uncontrollable twinging. Try sleeping with the bowling ball strapped around you. Or breathing. Or having a normal bowel movement. Then, about every hour and a half, let’s stimulate every muscle in your back and abdomen so that it cramps worse than anything you’ve ever felt. And add the constant fear (minimal, but still there) of the embarrassment that at any moment your water is going to break in a public place. But don’t be anxious to get rid of that bowling ball!

No, really. Enjoy it.

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4 thoughts on “If One More Person…

  1. I have the urge to tell you to “Relax and Enjoy” mainly because I think if you hear it one more time, you will come and pummel whoever said it even if that person is in NC and I am missing everyone.

    –Carrie

    • Awww… This made me laugh and then cry a little.

      Ok, that may be because I’m a little hormonal and it’s 4:00 in the morning, but I still wish I could come give you a hug.

  2. Hehe.

    But there’s still a difference between enjoying not having to take care of a newborn and in enjoying these last moments/days/weeks of pregnancy.

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