Things Old People Say

It’s probably unfair to speak of “old people” in general as though they would all say the kinds of things that Maw-Maw Carden does. She’s probably in a class all of her own. During my most recent visit, of course, the primary “things we can make silly comments about” category was pregnancy.

Steve was at his parents’ one day while I was out and about. Maw-Maw says to Steve, “I know Tanya feels terrible.”

“Actually,” Steve said, “she’s been doing really well. She hasn’t been sick and there haven’t been many complaints.”

But alas, such looking on the bright side is not part of Maw-Maw’s nature. I’m certain she was convinced Steve just didn’t know what he was talking about. How do I know this? Why, because at my baby shower, Maw-Maw comes up to me while I’m in the kitchen getting some water and says, “I know you feel terrible.”

“Actually, this pregnancy has been pretty easy,” I said. “I’m just enjoying being able to feel her move and see her grow.”

As though none of that registered, she continued on about how tight your stomach gets as the baby grows. Of the complaints I do have, that… doesn’t really even make the list. I tried to reassure her that I was not miserable—quite the opposite in fact—but to no avail.

We’ve had just as much success in trying to convince her, in the past, that we weren’t cold—no, we didn’t need more blankets, the thermostat doesn’t need to be turned up, and the space heater in the bedroom really isn’t necessary. But that’s another story for another day.

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