As I was driving home from work the other day, I smiled as I felt Kara kicking, swishing, rolling, and practicing for her circus act or whatever she’s doing in there, and it occurred to me that I’m very used to that. To having her with me everywhere I go and being able to feel her every time she moves. And then it occurred to me that when she’s born, I won’t have that anymore.
Obvious, like I said. And don’t get me wrong, I’m very excited to meet her. I can’t wait for her to be as big a part of Steve’s life as she is of mine. But I’ll really miss this special time we have together now. In another three or four weeks I’ll probably scoff wholeheartedly at the idea of missing pregnancy and will be more than ready for her to do the rest of her growing outside of my body and to give my lungs, bladder, abdomen, etc. a break from the internal boxing.
But for now, I’ll cherish it all. The swollen fingers, the multiple times I have to wake up to pee because she’s headbutted my bladder. Because for now, she’s sitting right under my heart and squiggling her way deeper in with every move she makes.
Happy Mother’s Day to all who have experienced the same thing, to those who are still struggling to experience it, and to those who have experienced it for those who can’t and have given their babies to the other group of women who deserve a “happy Mother’s Day.”