The devil smells like cane syrup, and other important observations

This weekend, I spent a very relaxing and insightful weekend at my in-laws’. Pretty much, I ate, slept, and read. It was absolutely delightful.

However, during the course of my stay, I had to be introduced to a “Southern thing”–Georgia’s equivalent of the Yankees’ pure maple syrup. It is called “Cane syrup.” As in sugar cane. Sounds delicious, really. How could something that came from sugar cane taste bad? However, after one sniff, I was dubious about putting it on my perfectly good waffle.

I thought it smelled like Steve’s gym socks. Steve said it smelled like the devil.

Nevertheless, we tried it.

It didn’t taste any better than it smelled.

I also learned that, if you use garlic-flavored crackers instead of Saltines in squash, it does in fact taste differently, so you shouldn’t joke about your mother-in-law’s dire predictions of how bad it might taste, cause she might be right, and you may look like an idiot.

On the trip back home, I learned the most important of my lessons: America’s health craze has literally turned into a “craze.” I saw on the side of the road one of those sinfully tempting Baskin Robbins / Dunkin Donuts stores merged into a delightful whole. Their marquis declared: “Try our new healthy items!”

Healthy items. At a Baskin-Robbins-Dunkin-Donuts. At a sugary-milkfat-deep-fried-dough store. That, my friends, is crazy.


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